suzakuformation | (no subject)

Current Mood: confused

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You know... it's weird. But I hate Duel Spirits and the supernatural and everything... but a bunch of the regulars we've been getting orders have been Duel Spirits... And while I hate how they look...

I dunno, they seem nice when we talk. Most of them seem to be trying to figure out the world, get a job, and...

It's just weird how similar they are to us.

Still hate that they're monsters.

Ugh. This must really sound dumb and cheesy.

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Even if there's a small bit of doubt, it's still going to be applicable.

... And like I said, there have been notices of concern, about me.

... Like what?

Generally just... More violent tendencies.

I've actually had to restrain myself from doing something I'd regret... And I'm not sure that what I've done recently is something to regret or not.

Probably had reasons to be violent/angry. We all lose our tempers.

... Well... I don't think I was wrong for getting angry.

I'm just not sure if giving a werewolf a concussion and then stabbing his vampiric boss multiple times was a suitable reaction for them kidnapping Shiroko.

... How would you react if I was in that situation?

... Probably... Much in the same way, honestly.

... Though that doesn't mean it's good that I'd go and have such a violent outburst. I'd just rather not have people I care about getting kidnapped.

Can't blame you to be honest. I'd burn everything in my path if someone kidnapped you.

... Well, at the least, I'm flattered that you'd do much the same.

But... I think it's a bit different when I do it, when any of that is supposed to be repressed, if my treatment is truly complete.

... But I don't want to deal with that. It's selfish, though.

Not really. You want to be able to give a damn about people. That's not really all that selfish, Shikou.

... Hah... At least, that calms me.

... But you can kinda see why I don't want to see her, as a result.

I'd personally blow her off, myself. Not saying she's evil. Just.

Don't think you need it.

... I really only wish that I could. I owe a lot to her, though.

... And even if I didn't, doing so would just have as much of a negative effect as rejecting to be put under a trance.

... So you'll have your love for me erased, then. ... Figures.

... I think you're overreacting, Shiroko.

... No, I'm not.

Yes you are.

... How? It's what doctors do.

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suzakuformation.livejournal.com - 2010-04-14 05:52 (UTC) - Expand

... Shiroko, I told you before that she isn't against me having a relationship with you.

She'd just attempt to repress my... Protective reactions.

... Which means you wouldn't love me. You'd be repressed from giving a damn.

Loving you and flying into a blind rage because of that are different parts of it.

It'd be the latter portion that would be repressed... Though I'm surprised that you'd think that she'd do something so heinous as to force me to forget about you.

She isn't like those who usually try to have their way with me. I've been seeing her since I was six.

It admittedly seems kind of stupid to me. It's not like if you're allowed to defend those next to you that you'll turn into Jack The Ripper.

While it may seem "stupid", without it, I also would have never met anyone that I'd want to protect.

Without it, I'd be locked up at the moment.

How do I put this?

I think you're old enough to make your own choices, at this point. You've had this ground work for how many years?

I don't think being pissed off at your girlfriend being taken from you is a negative response. I think its a mature one, relatively speaking.

Technically, I'm not free until it can be absolutely made certain that I'm stable. Until that point is done, then I'm not able to make the decision myself to stop it. ... My aunt and uncle paid quite a bit to make sure that such a contract would exist.

... I think mature was negated after a certain point, but I guess if it's only "relatively" speaking...