suzakuformation | (no subject)

Current Mood: confused

(no subject)

You know... it's weird. But I hate Duel Spirits and the supernatural and everything... but a bunch of the regulars we've been getting orders have been Duel Spirits... And while I hate how they look...

I dunno, they seem nice when we talk. Most of them seem to be trying to figure out the world, get a job, and...

It's just weird how similar they are to us.

Still hate that they're monsters.

Ugh. This must really sound dumb and cheesy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... I really only wish that I could. I owe a lot to her, though.

... And even if I didn't, doing so would just have as much of a negative effect as rejecting to be put under a trance.

... So you'll have your love for me erased, then. ... Figures.

... I think you're overreacting, Shiroko.

... No, I'm not.

Yes you are.

... How? It's what doctors do.

... What kind of doctors have you been dealing with?

... Shiroko, I told you before that she isn't against me having a relationship with you.

She'd just attempt to repress my... Protective reactions.

... Which means you wouldn't love me. You'd be repressed from giving a damn.

Loving you and flying into a blind rage because of that are different parts of it.

It'd be the latter portion that would be repressed... Though I'm surprised that you'd think that she'd do something so heinous as to force me to forget about you.

She isn't like those who usually try to have their way with me. I've been seeing her since I was six.

That's what doctors do.

They make you suffer. Endlessly.

I make you angry. I might as well not exist.

... No, you don't make me angry.

Others make me angry.

Like I said, she'll just erase me.

... No, she won't.

You might not trust her, but she's been a confidant to me for years. She at least knows what is good and what is bad.

She won't erase you. If she was going to, she would have erased you and Suzume long ago.

Until she decides we're too much of a hassle.

I don't care if she was nice when I went to her... all doctors are corrupt.

... Any corrupt doctors I was going to have probably got their fingers ripped off, honestly.

It admittedly seems kind of stupid to me. It's not like if you're allowed to defend those next to you that you'll turn into Jack The Ripper.

While it may seem "stupid", without it, I also would have never met anyone that I'd want to protect.

Without it, I'd be locked up at the moment.

How do I put this?

I think you're old enough to make your own choices, at this point. You've had this ground work for how many years?

I don't think being pissed off at your girlfriend being taken from you is a negative response. I think its a mature one, relatively speaking.

Technically, I'm not free until it can be absolutely made certain that I'm stable. Until that point is done, then I'm not able to make the decision myself to stop it. ... My aunt and uncle paid quite a bit to make sure that such a contract would exist.

... I think mature was negated after a certain point, but I guess if it's only "relatively" speaking...

You seem pretty stable to me.

... You know, you say that... But honestly, I don't feel stable at all. Which might be why I'm stuck in it.

Of course, that may just be odd headaches I get sometimes and the feeling that something is about to fall apart, but that's normal, most likely.

Anything particularly... not feeling stable?

Mostly... That there's this dull ache in the back of my mind, like something is trying to prod at it. It got a bit worse back when I did go and... Make my disapproving stance known to that vampire.

Someone actually did tell me that I should go and see my therapist, actually, due to that... But I told them that I didn't want to be under a trance again.

... Like the desire to eat a Suzume sandwich?

Or, different aching/urge?