Yamamoto, Suzume ([personal profile] suzakuformation) wrote2007-12-08 07:08 pm

(no subject)

My mind feels so hazy. I feel so lost. Why...?

Why am I lying in this bed...

Why am I using this PDA...

I miss you...

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
...One day, you won't feel like this, Suzume. You won't feel blocked. Empty. Or lost... One day, you'll be alright.

...Samasu Shikou. I'm Samasu Shikou.

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
... Who's Suzume...?

... Why am I blocked, empty, and lost...

... Oh... right...

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
You are Suzume.

...Because something happened to you. And I'll make sure that you improve from that.

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
... Oh. Right.

... What happened? Improve from what...?

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know what exactly happened to you. But I will make sure that you get better.

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
... Thank you... whoever you are...

I want to cry...

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Samasu Shikou.

...Then cry. If you want to cry, then cry... It might make you feel somewhat better, after you're done... If you want to cry...

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
::Just proceeds sobs over the PDA::

Private to Suzume

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
...Suzume... Can I talk to you about something?

Re: Private to Suzume

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
... Who...?

What...?

Re: Private to Suzume

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
You.

...I have a way that may possibly help you with your ability to retain information... You might not feel hazy or lost anymore, as a result.

Re: Private to Suzume

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
... Oh... Right...

... I can't retain information?

... Hazy... Lost?

Re: Private to Suzume

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
Suzume... The fact that I told you this, have shown evidence of it... And the fact that you, yourself, mentioned feeling hazy and lost... Shows that you can't retain information anymore, in a way that you'll be able to show that you remember it.

But someone is going to help to fix that... By literally going back in time, and helping so you'll be able to retain information.

Do you understand this, Suzume?

Re: Private to Suzume

[identity profile] suzakuformation.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Who's Suzume...

Lost... Hazy... Why can't I?

... Back in time...? ... NO.

... No. But... NO.

Re: Private to Suzume

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
...You've registered something. That's a good sign, at least.

Why are you against it, Suzume? Can you please tell me why, even though it might help?

Private to Shikou

[identity profile] mynameis-legion.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
I swear to god I didn't plan for this...

It wasn't supposed to end up like this...

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
...No one ever plans for things like this. But it isn't your fault, that this happened... It's not your fault. It wouldn't have been expected.

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] mynameis-legion.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
We... had him. We had Darkness. We could of defeated him or forced massive setback...

And then that explosion...

And the torture...

I'm sorry.

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
And I appreciate that, Mr. Adam. I appreciate the fact... That you tried to stop Darkness. That you tried to at least stall him...

Which is why you don't need to apologize about this. I put trust in your attempt, even if I didn't understand what was going on... That's why you shouldn't feel sorry about this... Not at all...

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] mynameis-legion.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
I had to be silent so Darkness didn't get too curious as to what we were doing... I used the backlash of my wish to him to defeat him...

Jesus. If I could fix her, Shikou I would... She doesn't deserve this... She was so excited to get rid of Darkness and just... relax. And be with you...

Jesus...

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
... I understand that, actually. The best of plans occur when no one knows... That's why I never pushed Suzume, after I figured out that something was going to happen... Just wasn't sure what.

...And I appreciate that. A lot more than you'd think... She really doesn't deserve something like this. She deserves... To actually have a normal life. To relax. To not have something like... Like what keeps happening, to her.

That's why I am still going to make sure that she gets better, even if it's hopeless. Because I'm still going to try to make sure that... That she'll get better, from this. Because she will get better... Then you won't have to feel guilty.

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] mynameis-legion.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. If we could of explained without fear... we would of. It's just... wow...

That's all she wanted. Win and return home happy, so to speak... I think she had the largest guts of all... Poor kid. So much shine and spark...

I'll feel guilty for leading her into the devil's den...

Mmm...

Think she can get better...? I can't even figure out what's wrong with her...

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
I understand, Mr. Adam.

That's because it was something she really wanted... Something she yearned for. Of course she would've been happy to help you. Of course... She would've been the most brave. Because that's just how she is.

It's happened, Mr. Adam... And I've forgiven you already, for it. She wanted to help.

Something is stopping her from really... Having a grip on what she knows, or should know. At least to me... That's how it seems. That's what I'd focus on..... And try to figure out how to help it.

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] mynameis-legion.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
I explained the plan to her over and over, just like I did with Masuyo and Yamimaru... god. I killed one student and mentally crippled another.

... And how do you plan to help her?

Re: Private to Shikou

[identity profile] observershikou.livejournal.com 2007-12-09 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
Then she understood it. It was... It was her choice. And I'm proud of the fact that... She tried to do this. That she tried to help.

... I don't know. But I'm going to figure out how, no matter what... I'm not going to let her live like this, when she deserves... Infinitely better.